Book review: Raising a Modern-Day Knight
January 27th, 2006
Raising a Modern-Day Knight: A Father’s Role in Guiding His Son to Authentic Manhood
By Robert Lewis
Overview: Too many boys today don’t have proper models of what it means to be a man. And what does it really mean to be a man? How are fathers to raise their sons to be the kind of men we want them to be?
These are the types of issues Lewis addresses. He uses the medieval custom of knighthood as an approach to follow in shaping boys into men. Real men, Lewis writes, are those who reject passivity, accept responsibility, lead courageously and expect the greater reward.
The book is broken down into five sections:
1. The Need for a Modern-Day Knighthood
2. The Knight and His Ideals
3. The Knight and His Ceremonies
4. The Knight and His Round Table
5. The Knight and His Legacy
Lewis uses a lot of illustrations, and the book is easy reading. At less than 200 pages, you can finish it in a day or two.
What I liked: Any book that provides a reminder about the importance of raising my son to be a godly man is always welcome. I also appreciate and agree with the four characteristics of manhood, mentioned above, that Lewis uses.
What I didn’t: While there are many characteristics of medieval knighthood to be admired, I think Lewis takes the metaphor too far. He suggests that fathers hire a graphic designer to create an official “coat of arms” for their families, which I don’t see me doing. By the end of the book, I was half expecting him to advise going out and finding a suit of armor and a sword to give to your son when he becomes a man.
Lewis takes very seriously the importance of formal ceremonies in the life of a boy as he grows to maturity – too seriously, if you ask me. To Lewis, ceremonies are important because they are milestones in a boy’s transition from childhood to manhood. While there’s certainly nothing wrong with such ceremonies, Lewis seems to suggest that without these “ceremonies” in a boy’s life, he’ll never really know if he’s a man or not. I disagree. While they may be nice, such formal ceremonies are not a necessity in life, and I don’t question my manhood because my dad didn’t devise such ceremonies for me.
Some of the ceremonies he suggests to mark milestones in a boy’s life are a little too silly, and I can’t see myself doing such things with my son. If my dad had tried to do something like that with me, I probably would have laughed at him.
On a scale of 1-10: 5
I agree Tim. I’ve not read this particular book but have seen these kinds of things several different times. The premise is certainly valid, However, as you point out, some folks get way too into it and tend to imply that these extra-Biblical activities they’ve developed are something everyone should do if they really want to be a Godly father.
Good review Tim. I read the book about a year ago and I came away with much of the same impression you did. I was also thinking to myself, why only boys. Wouldn’t much of this be beneficial for girls as well. Why do we think affirmation is just a guy thing? I wonder if we are beating this masculinity drum a bit too hard.
Thanks for the heads up on this book, sir Tim.
Hey Brett (and anyone else, for that matter),
If you buy it, buy it through the link in this post so I’ll get a commission.
A knight, eh? So I’m supposed to save the world from pagan uprisings, rescue the damsel in distress and eat a lot of meat? Sounds about right.
Dr. Ray Van Neste has also review this book on the Ryan Center web-site. Check out his take here:
http://www.uu.edu/centers/biblical/bookreviews/review.cfm?ID=3
While a lot of people here and elsewhere seem to take the ceremonial aspects lightly and look at them as unnecessary and silly, I do think some milestones and ceremony is valuable. We live in a world that does use ceremonies to mark many stages of life, such as getting driver’s license, a first car, graduation from various levels of school, civic groups such as Boy Scouts, Cub Scouts with all their merit badges, elected officials being sworn into office, or the singing the Star Spangled Banner before a ball game. Often we look back at those milestones with fondness or at least significance. If people want to add memories in their spiritual life, milestones that can be recalled on even as an encouragement in challenges in their life, I am fine with that. Although it is not necessary for salvation, if it strengthens and helps their walk of faith, ultimately wouldn’t these be more valuable than those that our worldly society views as important.
Regarding the coat of arms many families with deep European roots already have a coat of arms or a crest of some family significance. I can see value (I don’t know how much I would pay) to have an item to be handed down from generation to generation to show what you are a part of. When you can say my father worshiped this God and lived his life on these principles as did his father and his father before that and this is a coat of arms is a testament to this, and now I hand this on to you. I recall a European family that had their coat of arms displayed and someone asked about it and what it meant. If this would have been a family that did this as part of this book I could see it being a potential witness opportunity.
Our public library decided to shed some books, including this one, so I picked it up the other day for $1. Sorry, no commission, Tim. I’ll be interested to see if I agree more with your assessment or Ray’s.