Marriage — it’s all about me
May 26th, 2006I was driving to work this morning, and on “Mike & Mike in the Morning” on ESPN they were broadcasting a wedding ceremony, so I flipped over to another station. It was some morning show, and I don’t know what the topic of discussion was, but the hosts had on the phone a woman who had been married three times.
The first husband was the one with whom to play, she said. The second husband was the one with whom to have children. The third husband is the one with whom to grow old.
“It’s worked out well for me,” she said.
Yeah, isn’t that about right? Worked out well for me. We don’t give a rip about the welfare of our children in this society, and so we hop into and out of marriages because that’s what works for us.
We don’t care anything about commitment or being people who keep our promises, and so we hop into and out of marriages because that’s what works for us.
We don’t have any regard for God’s commands and expectations, and so we hop into and out of marriages because that’s what works for us.
We are spoiled, self-absorbed, pathetic people indeed.
Thanks, Hollywood!
Quit beating around the bush, Tim, and tell us how you really feel about it.
Whew. I’m glad we can blame Hollywood on this one. Then, we don’t have to think it’s been a problem before Hollywood existed. ‘Cause if it did exist before Hollywood, it might point to a different cause.
Why were Mike & Mike broadcasting a wedding ceremony?
I went to a wedding when I was in college where the bride and groom altered their vows, so instead of saying “’til death do us part” they said “as long as our love lasts.” Several people in the crowd laughed audibly, thinking it was a joke. Unfortunately, it wasn’t. Their love apparently didn’t last very long, because - barely two years later - they are now divorced.
Wait, misawa… you were referring to Tim as his online name, right?
My bad!
Tim “Hollywood” Ellsworth.
Oh no Jason! No you don’t! There is only one Hollywood and thats Hollywood Hogan! The Hulkster! Are you a Hulkamaniac?
Yeah, well, Tim may not don the yellow tights, but his flashy hairdo, big sunglasses, and white fur coat speaks volumes that Tim has earned that nickname.
…and he probably has the tights too, he just always says they’re “his wife’s”.
And for the record, no. I am NOT a Hulkamaniac. In the 80’s, he drove me nuts. Now, he’s just sad. He’s possibly the one human more pathetic than Mr. T.
Earlier in the year Mike and Mike held a contest to win the “Ultimate Sports Wedding”. This couple that are Florida Gator fans won and today is the big day.
“Hollywood”, you are right on. Preach it baby!!
Timely writing, Tim. A friend of mine told me yesterday that his wife gave him her ring back, doesn’t want to be married anymore. Total narcissisim.
“I wanna talk about ME, I wanna talk about MY, I wanna talk about NUMBER ONE, oh My, Me, My…”
Well, he’s not just any Tim.
Seriously, I was being a bit facetious, but also truthful. I grant that Hollywood hasn’t exactly stumbled upon anything new and that couples (such as in Not-Just-Any-Tim’s example) have been doing this type of selfish foolishness for years. But while I do believe that Hollywood does carry part of the blame, it’s our society’s endless celebrity worship that is more to blame.
I’ve never been so offended in my entire life Jason! You just insulted two of the greatest role models of my life! Your total disrespect for the hulkster and B.A. is totally out of line. Benton is ashamed to have once had you as a resident.
If I were Jason, I’d be more ashamed that I was once a resident of Benton.
If it weren’t for the whole New Covenant thing, maybe we could have stoned that lady or something.
Tyler, while I appreciate a good vintage A-Team episode as much as (probably more than) the next guy, today’s Mr. T is but a sad shadow of his former-B.A.-self. Mr. Hogan is in the same boat…
The difference is that I have a lot more respect for Mr. T and his off-screen work.
Chris, I may be from Benton, but we all have skeletons in our closet. But I don’t know anything about being stoned.
I’m not sure how this discussion got diverted to Hulk Hogan and Mr. T, but let me veer us back to the topic at hand.
Yeah, so I know I am biased because I have only been married 9 months, but isn’t marriage great? I cannot imagine having the level of intimacy and closeness I have with my wife with anyone else ever…it would certainly seem to cheapen it. How, then, can a person go through spouses like tic-tacs and be happy? I am suspicious about this so called happiness that these people seem to have.
I think it all begins with how courtship takes place in society. When you date with the idea of “get what you want out of the relationship,” you don’t just one day flick a switch and say, “Now that we’re married, I think I’ll start sacrificing myself for you.” It all starts with our perception of what relationships are all about. This also applies to friendships as well. If you are going to live in a self-sacrificial way, it is going to apply to all parts of you life. A generous life extends to friends, family, co-workers, anyone that you come in contact with on a daily basis.
So what are our marriages and friendships teaching our kids about what a marriage should look like?
Very good observation, Joel.
The woman’s third marriage is working for her because it’s currently working for her. When she gets done with it, she’ll come up with a philosophy that fits.
The fact that Jesus was asked about divorce indicates it was a problem in His day as well.
There is a married couple in the church I belong to that my wife and I are good friends with that just split up. I ask that you guys pray for them. They are both Christians and really nice people. So far they haven’t mentioned divorce and they are giving counseling a try with a Christian counselor. Thanks.
http://www.epodunk.com/cgi-bin/maritalInfo.php?locIndex=5913
Bentons divorce rate is higher than the state’s and the country’s.
So Tyler, on your chart, what does “Married without Spouse” mean?
PETA won’t allow public comment on that.
Matthew 19:6
“What God has joined together, let man not separate.”
That settles it for me. We sinners better learn to love and live with our sinful spouses. And yes you must “learn” how to love.
This may be a little off-topic, but I had been reading along the lines of marriage yesterday — specifically Matthew 22:23-30. A group of Sadducees tell Jesus how the same woman had been married seven times to a set of seven brothers; as one brother died, she was given in marriage to the next brother until all seven eventually died. They asked Jesus, when they all resurrect, which brother would be the woman’s husband? Jesus responded by saying that they had all erred in their knowledge of the scripture, as there will be no marrying in the resurrection.
I think it’s interesting to note that marriage is discouraged so many times throughout the scripture and it’s clear that marriage is only a temporary joining of two people (although, not near as temporary as it was for the woman in the post!). After death, that bond is no longer recognized, not even by God.
Would anyone agree with me that some Christians and/or churches place too much emphasis or importance in finding a mate? If we’re able to overcome the sexual temptations of the flesh, isn’t it clearly stated that it’s better for our chance at salvation to abstain from marrying?
I’m not trying to belittle finding a good helpmate in life, as someday I hope I’ll do just that, but I think several different pastors and church members have given me some bad guidance in trying to instill that marriage is a crucial necessity and something that will last through the ceaseless ages of eternity. I think the rising number of failed marriages — including those couples within churches that end up divorcing — could be a pretty good indicator that our society is putting too much emphasis on marrying when we should be emphasizing a closer personal walk with God. Ultimately, a time will come when those that are married or started a family will have to live as if they hadn’t (1 Cor. 7:29) and possibly mourn over doing so (Luke 23:28-29).
Just some stray thoughts there… just thought I’d contribute since it’s (semi)relevant to the post.
I agree completely, although I think very few of us are called to singleness. Still, God said from the beginning it’s not good for a man to be alone. Here after the fall, marriage is given as a remedy for our corrupted sex drives, and divorce is allowed as a remedy for our hard hearts. Ultimately, as Tim has mentioned in a different string, marriage is a foreshadowing of Christ’s marriage to His bride, the love and union that will not fail. Our culture has told us the love between man and woman (eros) is the greatest goal we can achieve, but it’s a lie. The love of Christ (agape) is the highest, purest love, and what we should seek either as single or married.
Interesting points Chris. I agree that we in the Protestant movement put too much emphasis on getting married, much like Catholocism does on staying single for priests. I think we should be comfortable with Christians who choose to stay single, and that is not typically the case. Good point.
“…for our chance at salvation to abstain from marrying?”
This statement made me a little uncomfortable, bacause I don’t look at salvation as a “chance” thing.
Just a thought.
I suppose “opportunity” would have been a better choice of a word there.
Thanks for pointing that out.
“…divorce is allowed as a remedy for our hard hearts.”
Funny you should mention this Craig. I wrote something about hard hearts earlier this month.
http://manersthoughts.blogspot.com/2006/05/hard-hearts.html
True, that.
Nick, I believe it mean seperated but still married.