Modern women are unhappy
May 27th, 2009Some good thoughts from Owen Strachan, interacting with a New York Times column by Ross Douthat about modern women being liberated and unhappy.
Here’s a quote from Owen:
Indeed, the line that talented women only do justice to their gifts through full-time work is a myth, nothing more. Full-time mothering involves skills and tasks too numerous to mention and almost too varied to believe. In a traditional home, women may well assume some burden for education, requiring a fast and flexible mind. They must solve countless domestic problems. They must engage in significant moral formation each day, handling challenging ethical situations. They must budget well. They have to plan. The sheer amount of planning alone in the life of a young wife and mother is staggering and took a young, naive husband by surprise early in my marriage.
So the cultural line that draws so many women out of the home and into the workplace is just plain silly. God made women complex, highly nuanced, multitalented, and the demands of the home call for just such an individual, one who can manage many tasks at once, negotiate the shifting moods and needs of a child, and provide emotional and physical support for a husband. The home is not too small for a woman; it is almost too large for her (and men, so adept at various forms of work, are simply no match for it, as the briefest of motherly absences abundantly proves).
I appreciate these words so much. I’ve heard of some mothers who justify their decision to work full-time by saying things like, “But I feel like I’m especially gifted …” which, in essence, is saying that stay-at-home mothers are not especially gifted. I beg to differ.
Hat tip: Challies
Tim,
I agree. This is an important post and Owen’s thoughts are terrific. I guess my only question is whether or not ‘requiring’ or ‘heavily encouraging’ mothers to stay at home is biblically mandated or just suggested. I, too, desire for my wife to stay at home when we have children, I guess I am just trying to determine whether Southern Baptists have taken a legalistic approach to this.
Of course, women at home with children is the ideal, but is it necessarily sinful for mothers to work?
Your thoughts?
When people ask me if my wife works I tell them no but in the same breath I tell them that she works much harder that I do in a day. My wife is indeed multi talented and does a wonderful job within our home and you know what she loves it and is very happy. The woman that are unhappy need to look at themselves in the mirror and read scripture. The men should encourage their wifes to be at home. My wife homeschools our children and she feels that has been very rewarding for both the children and her as well. I know it goes against the way of modern thinking but I believe it is Biblical for the woman to be a stay at home wife and Mother.
Hi Andrew,
No, I don’t think it’s necessarily sinful for mothers to work. I think it can be, depending upon motives. If the reason a mother works is so the family can have a fancy house, drive fancy cars, wear fancy clothes, etc., then I think there’s a problem that should be addressed.
And often, I think families try to justify the mother working because they think they need certain things that they in fact could do without.
But I don’t think it’s wrong in all cases for mothers to work. At the same time, I certainly don’t think there’s anything wrong with churches and Christians encouraging mothers to stay home with their children, as I do think that’s the best choice a vast majority of the time.
Tim,
I do want to be a stay at home mother but at the present time, it is not possible. I have alot of guilt about being away from home so much. Allison turned 9 today. She has been in a day care or with a family member since I returned to work six weeks after she was born. Jim is still teaching and let’s face it, we are not wealthy. I work because we need insurance and with our house payment and what it would cost us for ins. with his job, there rreally would not be anything left. My mother was a stay at home mom and she raised six kids. We always had clean clothes, good meals, a clean house and lots of love. I work 40 hours a week and I have one child. My house is usually messy and I have more laundry than I know what to do with. I still have lots of love for my child and my husband and even though I resent having to work most of the time, I know that it is a must. I hope that someday before Allison graduates, I can be at home. Keep praying for the moms with guilt.G.
Hi Gina,
Thanks for your input. I think yours is the kind of situation that churches need to keep in mind, and is a good response to the question Andrew raised.