Tim Ellsworth

Lohan sends her condolences to Altman’s family

November 30th, 2006

Poorly-written condolences, I might add. Read the statement and you’ll see what I mean.

As Justin Taylor wrote, “As long as the Lindsay Lohans of the world exist, there will be a need for editors! It’s just too bad she didn’t think to hire any of us for this public statement.”

18 Responses to “Lohan sends her condolences to Altman’s family”

  1. j razz says:

    Wow.

    j razz

  2. Nick Fox says:

    wow. Towards the end there it doesn’t even make sense. That’s Lohantastic!

  3. The Zoner says:

    Tim-

    I just wannou say that I have learn a lot from your blog. It’s aspired me to continue typing things which which come to the forefront of my mind after being in the backfront of it. And then they show up on my computer. Do they show up on yours too?

    Lotsa peeple come to read your blog and share the same conservation views. In this dayenage, we need more people who have convicts and that are convicts. You certainyl fit the shoe.

    Women can get construction jobs.

    BE BLESED!

    Lindsay

  4. jasonk says:

    Good thing she’s hot.

  5. T Miles says:

    C’mon fellas, give the kid a break. I would rather have one sincerely incoherent correspondence in my time of sorrow than a truckload of perfectly written oversentimentalized drivel.

  6. jasonk says:

    What about oversentimentalized drivel that is incoherent?

  7. Chris says:

    Hope everyone is “BE[ing] ADEQUITE” today. This is probably the 12st best thing I’ve seen all day.

  8. Brett says:

    I’m just in shock that USA Today printed it as is. You would think that they would contact “her people” out of courtesy and decency and say, “Would you like to take a final look at this before it goes to print.”

    Also, I’m curious: Was it an official printed statement or was it an official spoken statement? It reads like it was taken verbatim from an emotional speech or something.

  9. jasonk says:

    As a dad to teenage daughters, I can say with some authority that this reads like notes written by adolescent girls. That’s what makes it so funny. The only thing that would have made it better is if it wErE wrItteN with A cApiTaL leTTer EVery sO OftEn.


  10. Bless her heart!

  11. Larry F says:

    The problem is this was poorly written oversentimetalized drivel.

  12. Tim says:

    Lindsay must not be so dumb after all. She was smart enough to hack Zoner’s computer and get his log-in info.

  13. The Zoner says:

    We have the same plastic surgeon.

  14. Craig says:

    I prefer to take my moments month-by-month.


  15. Or maybe Zoner is Lindsay…

  16. The Zoner says:

    Oh yeah. Ya know Lindsay is well-versed in apologetics and interested in OPS and VORP.

  17. j razz says:

    Lohan is now attending AA according to Reuters.

    j razz

  18. Newman says:

    Air America is reporting that she is an adviser on foreign policy to the white house.

    Its all coming together now. I think she is his speech coach also.