Mom makes daughter wear her offenses on street corner
June 26th, 2007A Tennessee mother fed up with her daughter’s misbehavior took an unusual tack in for latest punishment, making her stand on a busy street corner with an attention-getting sign.
Tashara Wilkins, 13, held a sign Sunday reading, “I don’t obey my parents, I’m a liar. I steal from my mom. I have a bad attitude.”
Kirk and Ray would be proud…
Has anyone ever read Hawthorne’s, “The Scarlet Letter?” This is the same thing.
Yeah I think most everyone here has read that book Cine, though I would venture to say not that many have seen the Demi Moore version of the movie.
It is required reading for every high school junior throughout this great land, not to mention a model for the way our society should brand sinners, especially of Hester Prynne’s ilk…
“All other resources haven’t worked, so I’m making her be publicly humiliated today,” mother Cherie Wilkins told WMC-TV in Memphis.
I think this ‘punishment’ is inappropriate. It bothers me when parents humiliate their children by punishing them in public, this mother is intentionally doing just that. I do not see how this type of correction will restore this young girl to a right relationship with her mother. The article mentions that she will have to wear the sign to her church. I am curious how the congregation and its leaders will respond.
I heard that story on a local eastern TN. radio station this morning. I do not feel that she should have publicly humiliated her like that. I am all for punishment but not like that. Kellye, it is hard to say what the leaders of her church will react. Each church is different on those sort of things. If it were at my church I believe they would meet with her and discuss other options of punishment.
Hmm,
Bakker, Swaggard, Ousley, Haggard, and others of not such national prominence.
To adopt prose from Kellye, It bothers me when the Father humiliates His children by punishing them in public, and God is intentionally doing just that. I do not see how this type of correction will restore these people to a right relationship with Him.
If I believe in a sovereign and all-knowing and loving God, I have to reject the last part of that statement. Yes, it bothers me, but God, in His loving discipline, often lays out our shame and subjects us to unrighteous judgement from others.
At her wit’s end, the mother took a non-violent, yet decisive step and it seems that the daughter has obeyed. That might be the first step toward responsibility. There is a difference in shame and humiliation, but sometimes humiliation is a necessary part in getting a person to recognize their own shameful behavior. It forces us to recognize that we are not islands, separate from the rest of humanity.
If this was taken as a first reaction, yeah, it would be inappropriate. But taken further down the road, after other disciplines have not taken hold, entirely appropriate and even loving. Mom is making daughter face her own behavior and not hide it.
Maybe I should do that for myself occasionally.
Is there a difference in humbling someone and humiliating them?
Laz - A model for the way our society should brand sinners? What letter will you be wearing?
Covered by the blood or not, we all deserve Hell. Where is the compassion?
My letters:
A, L, S, B, P
Joel–good point.
For thought–if she got the kid to wear such a terrible sign, how is it she couldn’t get her to do anything else?
Zoner - good point
Michael, sorry for the misunderstanding on my tongue-in-cheek comment.
I would have to possess a twisted understanding of grace to seriously stand behind that comment (made in jest), my apologies.
Of course, in Ms. Prynne’s world, I would be wearing all of the letters of the alphabet. I affirm what Paul wrote Timothy (1 Tim 1:15),
Bill,
I can see what you are saying. We are to be immitators of God. However, you used my words for a point that I was not making. Yes, the Lord disciplines those whom He loves. Yes, we should immitate Him. He also told us in Matthew 18 how to handle sin in the church. It is to be done with as little humiliation as possible. Only after a person refuses to repent when approched by more than one person is the situation to be presented to the church…the church…not everyone driving down the highway. In this case, the mother stated that they attend church, so if all else had really failed as she said, why not ask the church for help?
The question I have now: Is the church responsible to practice discipline on a child who is a believer? If so, how?
Kellye, that’s a good question for an Elder. I think that we do need to raise children in context of community. That means that I look out for the welfare of your kids and you look out for mine. Does that occasionally mean that we discipline each other’skids? Yes,oOf course. I can’t be there to oversee my kids every moment. I need the help of other parents and friends.
Of course, we don’t know all the facts in the situation, so some of this is theoretical and/or speculative.
Yes, Kellye, a better way would have been for her to ask her church for help, but maybe that’s part of the problem: the church isn’t an important part of this whole situation. I don’t know whether it is or isn’t. On the other hand, maybe the church is involved and suggested this.
I thought, Kellye, that you were saying humiliation should not take place. My point is that sometimes humiliation is the grace of God as a step to bring humility and conscience to us before He brings destruction upon us. Matthew 18 gradually adds to the group who are witnesses, thereby increasing the level of humiliation, possibly culminating in putting them out for public shame. It doesn’t always stay within the church.
Maybe this action by Mom at this point was a bit premature, but I don’t think it is something that should be off the table. Like I said before, the girl did it; maybe this is the beginning of reconciliation.
Kellye,
My view on your question for disciplining a believing child is as follows: I first would ask is that childs family members of this particular body? If so then yes dicipline would need to be administered. It would most likely be done through the family. The elders would meet with the child and his/her parents and discuss what action needs to be taken.
It would be a very touchy subject and most likely would be delt without any other members knowing about it. This is my take on the issue. If the family is not members then a brief talk with the parent(s) is pretty much all that could be possible.
Bill,
I agree that God will sometimes allow us to be humiliated for our sin in order to drive it out of us. He has the right to do that and He is good to do that for us. I disagree with you that this punishment is not “off the table”. I think that disgracing a girl before strangers, especially at such an impressionable age, is going to far.
Laz-
It is a great deal of humility that allows you to say such things. Thanks for the response, and I also chime in with you and Paul.
Thank God for His grace and mercy that allow me to breathe, let alone to converse with you in peace.
Praise be to God that He has no letters in His Kingdom with which to brand us. Only the Blood.