Why figure skating is a joke
February 14th, 2006
Did you see the nasty spill China’s Zhang Dan took during the pairs’ figure skating finals? If not, you can watch the video here.
I’m glad she’s OK, and it took a lot of guts to get back on the ice and finish the program — but there’s no way she and her partner should have won a silver medal after messing up like that. Just more evidence that figure skating is hopelessly screwed up.
Here’s how you fix Olympic figure skating…..
Get rid of the judging all together. Then combine it with the biathlon. Winner is the biathlete that can shoot the figure skater in the air while attempting a triple toe loop.
….with a paintball gun, of course.
That is the major flaw in the new scoring system. But remember Tim, you can’t expect a totally ‘fair’ competiblism in exhibitions such as this, snowboarding, dog-shows, NASCAR, etc.
I’ll just watch events like this for the enjoyment and watch the Cardinals for the sport.
Jeremy just rocked my world…….
DOG SHOWS ARE FIXED!?!?!?!
Where’s my sackcloth and ashes?
Of course dog shows are fixed.
Tends to explain why dachsunds never win Best in Show…..
I am amazed a guy knows who wins and who doesn’t win dog shows!
What about the fact that they are attempting to change? Even though this new scoring system may end up being replaced by a more fair & efficient one later on, at least the figure skating community is trying to increase fairness and decrease corruption. I won’t comment on whether judged events are actually sports, but I would hesitate to say that someone who will try to rotate FOUR TIMES in the air and land on a quarter-inch wide edge of steel on ICE without falling (in front of millions of people) is a joke.
Beth, I’m not saying that figure skaters are jokes (well, maybe some of them). I’m talking about the sport in general, and by that I mean the rules, judging, etc. Yes, they’re trying to change, but they have a long, long way to go before the sport stops being a joke when it comes to competition.
Hey Beth, maybe this will make you fell better, here is an Olympic Ice Skating Competition Joke I read on the internets:
It is the Olympic men’s figure skating. Out comes the
Russian competitor, he skates around to some classical music
in a slightly dull costume, performs some excellent leaps
but without any great artistic feel for the music.
The Judges’ scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.9: United
States 5.5: Ireland 6.0
Next comes the American competitor in a sparkling stars and
stripes costume, skating to some rock and roll music. He
gets the crowd clapping, but is not technically as good as
the Russian. He slightly misses landing a triple Salchow and
loses the center during a spin. But, artistically, it is a
more satisfying performance.
The Judges’ scores read: Britain 5.8: Russia 5.5: United
States 5.9: Ireland 6.0
Finally out comes the Irish competitor wearing a tatty old
donkey jacket, with his skates tied over his wellies. He
reaches the ice, trips straight away and bangs his nose
which starts bleeding. He tries to get up, staggers a few
paces then slips again. He spends his entire ‘routine’
getting up then falling over again. Finally he crawls off the
ice a tattered and bleeding mess.
The Judges’ scores read: Britain 0.0: Russia 0.0: United
States 0.0: Ireland 6.0
The other 3 judges turn to the Irish judge and demand in
unison, “How the blazes can you give that mess 6.0?!”
To which the Irish judge replies “You’ve gotta remember,
it’s darn slippery out there.”
Had to go a long way for that one, eh Jeremy?
I was surprised that couple ended with the silver, too, but don’t forget that the scores combine the short program with the free-skate long program. And the rules say that you can pick up where you left off in case of injury, which tells me that the team lost points on the fall but not significantly since they were trying the most difficult throw ever attempted in major competition.
(Wait, why am I defending Chinese figure skaters?)
Guys,
I don’t think that dog shows are fixed. In fact I think that most of the money in dogs shows come from the breading, not the actually showing. There would not be much money in breading if it was all fixed (somewhere Bob Barker is crying).
Paul
I have always had and continue to have problems with sports that are judged to determine scoring. Also, I don’t know the scoring system. So, I can only give my objective thoughts. I can offer no subjective truth to this matter.
If it is truely a point system for the skills you do during the program, then it could be possible to screw up one element (ie fall) and then having nailed (ie preformed flawless) the rest of the elements receive a score worthy of medal.
Anology to a sport I am more familar with that being down hill skiing. The guy from France who won the Gold earlier in the week. Actually made an error in his run. When he was going down the hill I pointed this out to my wife and said that he just lost the Gold. He was able to overcome this error by skiing the rest of the course flawlessly. Hence, he proved me wrong and made me look like a fool in my wifes eyes. Just as a note I don’t need anyones help to do that.
My point is one mistake does not mean you can’t win or in this case take the silver. Now having said that I still have a problem that they won the silver medal. To my eye she contiuned to have some problems in execution of jumps later in their program.
She deserves the Gold for finishing the program, but not the silver medal for preformance.
“Paul Says: February 14th, 2006 at 8:55 am - Guys, I don’t think that…”
I hope Beth doesn’t get offended.
Paul I think you mean “breeding.”
“Breading” is what goes on the outside of a pork tenderloin.
Mmmmm mmmmmm.
Thanks for clarifying Paul’s statement, Bob. I had a bad feeling the Korean Chefs were about to tell us exactly had to prepare dog with the best breading to make the most money.
Jeremy, how can you lump NASCAR in with figure skating and dog shows? That is the ultimate redneck oxymoron.
The only comparison I made was that they all are not sports, just exhibitions. But I guess, the long-hair of NASCAR kinda resembles some of the coats on certain canine ‘breading’.
I can see your point on figure-skating and dog shows. The outcome is purely subjective. NASCAR is competitive. Teams must design a car according to a certain set of rules, and then competition takes place. This, to me, would make it a sport rather than just an exhibition.
Gordon please see this:
http://www.timellsworth.com/?p=549#comment-2271
and this:
http://www.timellsworth.com/?p=549#comment-2285
Gordon has a point. Using his logic, automobile racing is much closer to being a sport than any sort of thing which relies on a panel of judges to decide what is good or bad.
Can you imagine the Cardinals & Cubs playing a game but, instead of the established rules, there were a number of chosen judges to interpret the game and award points based on simply their own observations?
Of course, maybe that would be a way for the Cubs to win a few more games…………….
If you want me to say that NASCAR is closer to a sport than something that relies on judges, then fine, you win.
Let me repeat what I have said in another post: “…Granted, racing has danger and competition, but danger + competition doesn’t always = sport. There is danger and competition in bidding for things on ebay while playing tag with tiger sharks. Is that a sport? No way.”
I meant to say “… exactly HOW to prepare” in my comment about Korean chefs earlier. Sorry for any confusion.
Jeremy, what panel of judges has authorized you to determine what is or what is not a sport??
The panel of long-haired wizened dead men that wrote the Bill o’ Rights, and the same panel that authorized Tim to call figure skating a joke, and the same panel that authorizes people to put the “My child gets perfect attendance at …” on their mini-vans.
O.K. Jeremy, I am trying to keep an open mind here. When I first read your comment, I thought you were dissing NASCAR. In your opinion, what criteria are in play to determine if an activity is a sport?
I posted a comment a while ago with 2 links, so it’s pending moderation by Tim, so I will repost as separate links:
http://www.timellsworth.com/?p=549#comment-2271
And where does professional wrestling fit in?
…and this:
http://www.timellsworth.com/?p=549#comment-2285
I read the post and respectfully disagree. When a driver loses up to 10 lbs of body weight during one race in the summertime, (i.e. Rusty Wallace at Pocono two years ago) it implies that there is extreme physical duress. And fending off paint-trading goobers like Kurt Busch, Kevin Harvick and Jimmy Spencer requires great physical dexterity.
If a greater proportion of physical exertion over mental accuity is required to make something a sport, then I would suggest that NASCAR is more of a sport than baseball.
It was the baseball great, Yogi Berra, who said, “Ninety percent of this game is half mental”.
I think it’s time that Jeremy sign up for his own blog, so that we can discuss things like this at his site and have a good time, and be able to continue commenting at Tim’s site. I am a frequent commenter on the Tipsheet blog at the St. Louis Post-Dispatch site, and in recent weeks one person who cannot seem to behave, has caused the comment section to be closed down, sometimes for days at a time. I, for one, would be quite disappointed if our friend Tim felt the need to do this.
Of course, we here are above all that, so I needn’t be concerned.
To take your logic to an extreme— when our armed forces are defending our freedom in foreign countries they oft times have to endure “extreme physical duress” and fend off enemies via gunfire, shells, gas, etc. It’s physical and it’s mental. Is war a sport?
If Tim wanted me to shut-up then he would tell me and I would. I would not be offended at all.
No, of course not, I thought we were under the understanding that we are talking of diversions.
Sigh.
Tim, are we out of line with this discussion? If we are just say so and I will cease and desist even though I am right ;). I know this topic started as figure skating and somehow migrated to NASCAR so if you would like for it to stop just let us know and there will be no hard feelings.
Gordon, maybe my dislike for NASCAR has clouded my ability to weigh the merits of what is and isn’t a sport. I will be happy to end this by admitting I don’t like it and you do. Anyway, I agree with Tim, competitive figure skating has an uphill climb in order to redeem itself.
Bill, I am trying real hard to figure out these two sentences you wrote:
“So, I can only give my objective thoughts. I can offer no subjective truth to this matter.”
Did you mean to say “subjective thoughts” and “objective truth.”
I have always thought of subjective truth as an oxymoron.
Regarding figure skating as a sport. It’s not a competitive sport. I think they should just do it for exhibition, like a piano recital. If they want to give away awards, do like “Dancing with the Stars” and have the TV audience dial up who they thought did the best. Instead of giving them a medal. Declare them “Most Popular.”
It’s about time that the voice of reason chipped in….
The solution to all of this bickering is simple. NASCAR on ice with Olympic biathletes (not hyphenated) shooting out the tires as the cars attempt a sow cow….whatever that is.
May I say that sounds nice? If I can, then I did.
Good night everybody. Drive safely.
Yak hunting in the Yukon. Now that’s my idea of a legitimate winter sport! Enough of this prissy skating in warm arenas to Celine Dion tracks and having flowers brought to you. Take off to the great white north! Eh?
Sure you betcha! Hey Brett, remember that skit on SCTV with Rick Moranis? They would be great commentators for the winter games!
We all know that the real reason why figure skating is a “sport”: advertising dollars. If all they had were real winter sports, 98% of the female television audience would be tuned into American Idol instead.
Now that would be great! I might actually tune in to the Winter Olympics if those guys were calling the Games.
Kanadian Korner / Great White North
Hosts: Bob McKenzie, Doug McKenzie
their website here: http://sctvguide.ca/programs/mckenzie.htm
I think the most overlooked possibility in all of the Olympic winter games is a good ole’ snowball fight. Talk about a cold war!
Gordon, you are a genius! I think that should be the way that they determine the figure skating medals. The only problem is that the Russian women would sweep. I can just hear Bob McKenzie making the call: “Doug, according to our radar gun, that last zinger that Cohen absorbed to the stoumach clocked in at 95 mph. My, what an arm that Helga has!”
I think your assessment is right, Brett. (About the Russian women I mean, not about me being a genius).
Gordon, you’ve made me laugh out loud for only the second time today. Thank you, my brother!
Totally enjoying the comments, can’t wait to check back in tomorrow!
Good day, gentlemen. Kiss your wives!
And ladies… no offence intended regarding the earlier comments!
My goodness, spend a few hours away from the computer and the whole world goes insane. Glad you guys have found a way to entertain yourselves.
I know, Tim. I was going to comment on here, but I figured I was too late to even join in. Golly!
Never too late!
Hey Tim, hasn’t this broken the all time high of replies in a single post?
Actually, the more I think about it, maybe a few Tonya Hardings would make figure skating better. You might have to issue shin guards but it would be competitive. Oh, wait a minute, they already have hockey! Never mind.
Gordon, you are obviously Mensa material! How could I forget Tonya Harding? Maybe there would be hope for the US in women’s figureskating/snowballfighting! In fact, doesn’t Zhang Dan in the picture above look like she just “bumped” into Tonya?
Did anyone see Johnny Weir(d) last night? He weir(d)s me out. What did he mean by “republican types” in his nbc promo clip?
Jeremy, I didn’t see him last night, but I watched him skate tonight and you are right. Weird vibes there, man. Maybe we could trade him for a couple of Russians or something.
Johnny Weir wears a red glove that he talks to and calls Camille. If it makes me a “republican type” to say that he’s a wacko, then so be it.
I saw the replay of his interview last night. Forget my comment about trading him for a couple of Russians, let’s just give him away! (If we can find any takers.)
Well, next time I’ll make sure to wait until Jeremy has posted his opinion so I don’t get chopped off at the knees like I did in high school. Thanks, Jeremy, for reminding me of my place in the world.