Reflections from a Year of Cancer

As I sit here, thinking about what we were going through a year ago, I am thankful that I can hear my son in another room, playing and acting like himself. I am thankful to hear “life.” A year ago, we were sitting at St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital wondering if our son was going to die. There were several possibilities of why he was sick and we didn’t know yet what that was. Was it a virus that could cause great damage to his organs or even kill him, was something called aplastic anemia that there isn’t a great solution for, or was it a cancer that would require us to ask our other two kids to be a bone marrow donor? All of this just sickened me to think about. The only way to know for sure, was to do a procedure called a bone marrow aspirate. We got word late that night that Noah had cancer. Words a parent never wants to hear.

Noah has Leukemia (ALL), a very common childhood cancer. We live near the best children’s hospital for this treatment – St. Jude Children’s Research Hospital. A hospital that has changed ALL’s cure rate from 4% to now 94%. And a hospital that not only gives the best care, but doesn’t charge us anything that our insurance won’t pay! Seriously! You see, there is blessing after blessing IF I just look for it. God is so good to us.

I know now that eventhough I really didn’t want to hear this diagnosis, it was a blessing. The alternatives were so breathtaking, that Leukemia really was a gift.  A gift that I didn’t want to receive, yet would gladly take it over the other options. A gift that isn’t easy, yet has made me more dependent on God. You see since then, I have learned how God is so gracious and kind to us. Many times we don’t even know how good God is to us, unless you look. But I look at things differently now. He protected my thoughts before Noah was sent to St. Jude. He has provided for our needs. Our church, friends, and family have wrapped their arms around us and cared for us so well. We rejoice in the normal things now – normal days, normal behavior, normal eating. He has even given us new friends that are in the pediatric cancer family like us. He has given us a Christian doctor and team to take care of Noah. Am I joyful that we are going through this? No! But I do know God that can give me the courage I need, and I remind myself daily that joy is found in Him.